Posted: 05/26/11 | may 26th, 2011
This is a guest publish by Ant, one half of positive world Travel.
Elise as well as I fight. Mye.
It’s normally about petty things that don’t truly matter, however in the warm of the moment, often even the smallest problems get blown out of proportion.
It’s the silly stuff, like where we must go next or what we must see. We suggest about food a lot, too. Elise is always hungry as well as needs to eat throughout the day, whereas I can last all the time on one huge meal.
And our filming frequently triggers disagreements; we don’t always share the exact same “vision.”
Spending 24 hours a day, seven days a week with somebody is bound to take its toll at some point or another. Det er normalt. In all honesty, I would be a lot more anxious about our connection if we didn’t fight after costs this much time together.
Our fights generally happen on travel days, when one of us is either tired, hungry (mostly Elise!), or fed up with the day. traveling 18–24 hours on buses, trains, or planes barely brings the very best out in anyone. The snapping begins over something trivial (like what taxi to catch), as well as before you understand it we’re battling about exactly how Elise never listens or exactly how I never comprehend her feelings.
One traditional fight that must have earned us a area on Jerry Springer occurred when we were traveling from Kathmandu to Chitwan in Nepal. Chitwan is only 150km away from Nepal’s capital, however the road conditions are truly poor, so we were on a cramped minibus for about eight hours.
As soon as we got off the bus, Elise started complaining about exactly how she had a sore neck as well as just needed a sleep as well as a shower. I, on the other hand, was feeling quite good. The movement sickness tablets I had taken knocked me out during the trip, as well as I had handled to get hold of some sleep on the bus.
That’s when the bickering started.
We snapped at each other about the very best method to reach our guesthouse, what guesthouse we were going to stay at, as well as exactly how long we would be staying there. We bickered the whole time up until we discovered a location to stay. As soon as we were in our room, things got worse. The battling ultimately escalated up until I went for a walk as well as Elise had a nap.
When I came back from my walk, the fight started again. this time around it was about exactly how I never put my toothbrush or get in touch with lens option in the ideal area as well as exactly how Elise can never keep in mind where she keeps things in her backpack.
The fight continued for one more a number of minutes, as well as we began to pick on problems absolutely unrelated to the original topic. When does a fight ever stay on topic anyway? You always end up battling about irrelevant issues. You state things you’ll regret later as well as don’t even truly indicate in the very first place.
With tears in Elise’s eyes as well as I so exhausted by the whole argument, we had to make a choice: either continue battling or come to our senses.
I told Elise we both needed to calm down as well as look at what we were battling about. What was the root of the argument? nothing however a bumpy bus ride.
I believe Elise was just as relieved as I was to end the fight, as well as we ended up speaking about methods we can resolve these conflicts as well as stop them from happening in the future.
How to resolve Conflicts
The thing with battling on the road is that the arguments handle a different type than the fights you have at home. At home, there are distractions like buddies as well as work to keep your mind off the argument.
When traveling, however, there’s no escape. You have to talk about exactly how you feel or what’s bothering you as well as come to a resolution.
What works truly well for us is having a “word.” One word that you can both utilize if you believe the other person is choosing a fight for the benefit of it. You both have to such as this agreement. You can’t abuse the word as well as state it whenever you want just to shut your partner up. It has to work for both of you.
This technique has truly saved us as well as prevented a great deal of fights from starting. For instance, if Elise is complaining about exactly how long we’ve been walking or exactly how hungry she is, it has a tendency to get on my nerves. I’ll make comments back to her that can be a bit heated, as well as Elise will just utilize the word. It snaps me directly back into line.
Even though it may noise silly to act so swiftly on one bit word, it truly does assist us to stop circumstances from spiraling out of control. I recognize that what I’m stating is unnecessary. issue solved. fight avoided. delighted days.
Honesty is one more crucial part of a connection that can assist resolve conflicts. Not being terrified to reveal exactly how you feel is so crucial during an argument. You have to be able to listen til enhver andres synspunkt i tillegg til å ta både kritikk og anbefalinger til hjertet.
Argumenter er ikke annerledes enn en sykdom, i tillegg til at forebygging alltid er mye bedre enn en kur.
Etter 16 måneder på veien har vi som par ganske mye funnet ut nøyaktig hvordan vi kan forhindre de større argumentene. Vi knuser fortsatt mye, men det er aldri noe så alvorlig som kampen i Nepal. Vi er nå oppmerksom på hva som kan sette hverandre av og alltid prøve å minske disse handlingene før de eskalerer ut av kontroll.
Reising lar oss samarbeide under stressende omstendigheter samt fikse problemer, men det gjør oss også i stand til å oppdage nøyaktig hvordan vi kan stoppe argumenter. Det siste er det vanskeligste ved å reise som et par, men jeg tror vi sakte mestrer det.
Anthony er halvparten av den dynamiske duoen fra Positive World Travel.
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